The Vacation
by InvaderProfessorMembrane
Summary: Professor Membrane and his family go on a trip to California. But I think you know by now that if Membrane's in it, NOTHING usually goes as planned… oneshot.


The Vacation

**Thanks for all of your support, my dear fans. I was thinking that, since I just wrote a horror story, I could lighten it up a bit.**

Professor Membrane skipped home, looking more satisfied with himself than ever. Gaz rolled her eyes when she saw him kick open the door.  
"Fire another imbecile?" She asked apathetically.  
"No, I try to keep those guys away from my labs," said the professor, his cheery actions and tone not changing at all.  
"Dad, why are you home so early?" Dib asked. Membrane jumped.  
I have some great news to tell you, kids, go gather around!" He waved them over. He bent down for dramatic effect.  
"We… are going… on a vacation!" Dib and Gaz exchanged looks. They'd never been anywhere father than maybe… half way across their home state?  
"To where?!" Asked Dib.  
"California!" Said the professor happily. "We're going to see the Hollywood sign in LA, the Exploritorium in San Francisco, and, also in San Fran, the Golden Gate Bridge!" Gaz raised her eyebrow.  
"But we live in _Ohio_. It'll take at least five hours to get there."  
"Yes it will! Pack your bags, were leaving on Friday!" Dib and Gaz looked at each other some more. Had their father gone mad?  
At least it was summer vacation. That way, they'd have plenty of time to pack. It was only Monday.  
"Gaz! This is gonna be great! My first time on an airplane! What do you think it's like?"  
"I think it's like a flying car. Now shut it." Gaz walked away to play her games. Dib shrugged. Might as not take advantage of this extra time. He began packing right away.

A couple minutes later, Professor Membrane walked into Dib's room to find him packing all sorts of things: books, clothes, his laptop, paranormal stuff, canned foods, sodas, water bottles…  
"Son," Professor Membrane said, almost with a laugh. "You can't take _liquids_ on a plane." Dib looked up.  
"Huh? Why not?"  
"Because they don't want people to mix it in with chemicals to create bombs." Dib thought this was stupid. Why would anyone want to turn water into explosives?  
"Besides," the professor said, bending down and taking out the food and sodas and other liquids he put in the suitcase. "Once we get through the security line, they have little stores at the airport in which you can buy water." Dib must've looked confused, because then the professor added, "The security line is where they check you to make sure you're not carrying any dangerous items with you onto the plane. Once they check you, you can buy food and drinks.  
"Oh. I understand." Dib said. Professor Membrane smiled.  
"Good. I think that you'll enjoy this vacation."

The next four days were agonizing. Dib was loosing sleep because he was so exited. When Thursday night came, he only got about two hours of sleep. He woke up at two in the morning!  
They had to leave pretty early, around four in the morning. Gaz was really grumpy. She definitely did not like waking up this early. Dib, however, didn't seem to be able to stop talking, despite his sleep deprivation.  
"Oh, MAN!" This is going to be the best vacation _ever_!" Dib yelled.  
"I'm gonna bring my camera, and I'm gonna take pictures of everything–"  
"Would you cut out that racket?" Gaz hissed. Professor Membrane, who had gotten a pretty good amount of sleep, took their luggage and put it in the trunk of their car.  
"Dad! This is gonna be awesome!" Dib yelled. "I can't wait to see California! It's gonna be so cool! What does a plane look like? Is it comfortable? Huh? And what does an airport look like? Are their lots of people? Are the security guards nice? Are the people at an airport nice in general?" Gaz glared at Dib.  
"Dib, shut up. You've seen an airplane before."  
"Yeah, the _outside_ of one. I wanna see the inside! Dad! Does it smell good? Is it clean? How high do you go?"  
"DIB! SHUT IT!" Gaz yelled. She rubbed her temples.  
But the whole way to the airport, Dib wouldn't shut up once.

By the time they got to the airport, Dib was overly ecstatic.  
"Wow Dad! This parking lot is awesome! Look at all those cars! I'm sure there's a ton of people in the airport!" Dib skipped alongside his father and his tiered sister. Professor Membrane wasn't tiered, but he wasn't hyper, either, like Dib was.  
Once they actually got into the airport, Dib looked around. He smiled. It was crowded! Lots of people must've been going on vacation. Dib stopped talking so much, mostly because Gaz threatened to rip his lock of hair off if he didn't.  
After the security line (he found it strange that he had to take off his shoes and get patted down) came the agonizing part– waiting. He had to wait at least thirty minutes before he was on the plane. When he was… he still had to wait! Oh well. At least he could see the inside of the plane.  
It got fun when the plane started moving, gathering speed, and then taking off! The first five seconds were fun, until he began to feel ill. Was he going to vomit? It felt like his stomach was being pulled down!  
"Dad," he said, not really so enthusiastic anymore. "I feel like I'm gonna puke."  
Professor Membrane looked around in the little pockets in the seats for the airsickness bags. He found one in his seat and passed it to Dib. Dib looked up at him as if to ask "what am I supposed to do with this?"  
"It's an airsickness bag," Professor Membrane explained. "Vomit in it if you need to!" Dib threw up in it. He raised his head and looked distraught. And very pale.  
"What do I do with it now?"  
"Just hold on to it for now. I'll tell you what to do with it once we stop going up. Dib decided to lean his head on the window (he had the window seat, Professor Membrane had the one in the middle, and Gaz had the one closest to the aisle), and he felt a little better because the window was cool.  
When the plane flew smoother, Professor Membrane took Dib to the bathroom and showed him the little slot on the side of the sink in which to dispose of the bag into. Dib walked back to his seat smiling– he no longer felt sick, and he was beginning to enjoy it. He fell asleep for the rest of the time. The descending of the plane woke him up. His ears felt funny, like there was cotton in them. He also saw his dad getting pale, and Professor Membrane did have to leave once to go to the bathroom. He mumbled a solemn apology to Dib and Gaz, saying that he hadn't been on a plane for a while. Gaz didn't really care, and Dib said it was fine, really.

They were all relieved when they got out of the plane.  
The first day was easy: they arrived at their hotel and fell asleep for a while. Then, they got up, went to a restaurant to eat dinner, and then ordered room service for dinner.  
The second day, they went hiking up those rocks to see the Hollywood sign. Of course, Dib took pictures. He took many. They also walked around a bit in LA to sight-see. They also went out for dinner that night instead of saying in the hotel. They walked around LA at night a bit, too. It was pretty.  
That night, though, they had an argument over who would sleep where. The night before it really didn't matter; Dib had fallen asleep on the couch the night before. But this time, Dib decided that he didn't want to sleep on the couch. Gaz said that she didn't want to share a bed with "that freak". So it ended up like this: Gaz slept with Professor Membrane and Dib slept by himself.

The other days in LA it was just more sight-seeing. A while later, they headed off to San Fran. It was much colder there. They all even needed long sleeves– in July!  
It was very foggy by the Golden Gate Bridge. They walked across it some, but not too much, because it was sticky up there. Then they headed off to the Exploritorium, which Professor Membrane liked very much because there was a lot of science-y exhibits. The restaurants were nice too. Good food there. They had to avoid a few things though: mostly homeless people and weird guys advertising strip shows. But other than that it was pretty beautiful. There was even one night when Dib got sugar high and stayed up really late at night.  
"Did you have a good time?" Professor Membrane asked Dib and Gaz.  
"Actually…" said Gaz, a bit surprised, "Yeah, I did. I really did." Dib stood at the end of his bed, packing up his stuff, sniffling and misty-eyed.  
"What's wrong?" Asked Professor Membrane.  
"I'm sad we have to go!" Dib wailed.  
"Aw, don't be sad, Son. Instead, dwell on the good times we spent here." Dib continued to sob.  
"I know it's very hard to leave after a vacation," said Professor Membrane, putting his hand on Dib's shoulder.  
"But Californians have their state, and we have ours. We have Ohio. Plus, it's always nice to return to the comfort of one's home. Dib nodded and shrugged.  
"I suppose you're right."

The next day, they took off, back home to Ohio.

And no one vomited.

**(Just for the record. I don't live in Ohio. They mapped out where the IZ characters lived in one episode ((Backseat Drivers from Beyond the Stars)) and the dot seemed around Ohio. So why not?) Follow me on Instagram! professormembrane**


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